Bird Touch Trio
by CrazedOnigiri
Summary: Bird Touch Trio! Little animals that resemble the 'naughty' friends, the bad touch trio. Fluff and humor mostly. I said mostly so don't sue. Rated K for now, but we are talking about the bad touch trio...
1. Chapter 1

"I am the awesome Gilbird! You must obey me you Frenchy!"

Bird Touch Trio was at it again. While their owners were out drunk, they had to stay behind with each other. It didn't make any sense. The three nations got along just fine but the animals however did not.

Tortuga was pouting in the corner. He was still upset about their name. Why did it have to be birds? He was a turtle!

"Tortuga, what is the matter? It's Gilbird, non?"

Gilbird made a face. "I'm sur ehe's just sad that he has to see your ugly face."

Tortuga just rolled his eyes at Pierre and Gilbird, "Nothing is wrong. Excepto quizás ustedes dos" He was glad none of them understood Spanish.

Pierre, as usual was getting bored He couldn't fly since the promised not to on account of Tortuga. What else was there to do?

Gilbird sat around with an annoyed face on. He was too awesome to sit around all day talking to a grumpy turtle.

Tortuga hated being all depressed. Maybe if they actually did something he would be less angry at those two bird brains.

**I'm sorry for Tortuga's attitude. He's never really shown in Hetalia. Tortuga means turtle in spanish. Most people depict spains animal as a tomatoe. That for me is Romano. I also couldn't use his bull because that thing is huge compared to Pierre and Gilbird.**

**I want to write more chapters but this is just a prolouge. I really hae no Idea what to write. I want them to go on adventures or some other crap, but what can birds do? Review if you have any idea's?**


	2. Drunk?

I guess this was all France's fault. He was the one who left an open bottle of wine on the counter next to the cage. Or maybe it was Spain's fault for bumping the wine. Either way, it happened which was a while new problem all together.

Wine had been poured into the water that the bird touch trio drank out of. Now they were drunk. The only thing that could compare to the bad touch trio when they were drunk was a more drunk bird touch trio. On top of that, the cage had been left open, and so was the window. Now the drunken animals had aces to the world.

"I wasn't *hic* doin nothin *hic*" Tortuga, who probably was the most drunk, had been having a wild night.

"I saw you... with that tomato... You haven.. fun? Why does it have a mustache and a curl?" Gilbird swayed back and forth. "Whered... that Pierre go...?"

Over on the other side of the street, there was a huge pile of birds. Some were male and some were female. All were swooning over Pierre, dirty bird.

A few hou4rs later, the three 'friends' were passed out in a gutter. The had had one too many drinks. Their fun was now over.

Soon came along an angry Austrian. Prussia had called in the middle of the night asking for help. Apparently, he had lost his beloved gilbird. Now he wanted Austria to find hi since he was too drunk to see straight.

Austria stopped in his tracks when he saw something move in the gutter. Upon closer inspecion, it was the three missing pets. Laughing to himself, the musical nation scooped up the birds and took them as hostages.

"That will teach Prussia to invade my vital regions!"

**This was really hard because this is the dirtiest thing I've ever written. Sorry if they are ooc.**

**:{P Suck it! Even my face has a mustache! Lovi is taking over!**


	3. Hostage Return

Austria chuckled. He had a hostage of his worst enemies. And people said he was terrible at war. Look at him now, he had two birds and a turtle In his house...wait,when you say it like that it sounds less manly. Any minute now he would get a call asking for the 'precious' salmonella infested vermin.

Austria was right, moments later, the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Austria, You jerk wagon! Where's Tortuga?"

Austria chuckled once again, Spain didn;t sound intimidating when he was using words like jerk wagon and his voice was full of worry.

"Give me the phone. 'ello, Austria? You better not harm my little Pierre. If you do I will invade your place. We'll pay what you want just don't 'arm our babies."

hearing grief stricken countries was fine and all but where was Prussia? Austria really wanted to rub his victory in his face. "Where's Prussia?"

Spain took the phone, "Crying in the corner. I think he's more attached to gilbird than anything."

In the back round there was sniffles and the Prussia was on the phone. "I'm not crying! Just give back gilbird or else..." Prussia broke down in tears again. Yeah, he's just awesome like that. "I just want my baby back!"

Austria hung up the phone. He was starting to feel guilty, he just wanted to enrage Gilbirt like the albino had enraged him when his vital regions were invaded. He didn't mean to make him cry.

Sighing, Austria picked up the cage that held the now sober animals. "You''ll be going home early, all expenses paid."

He expected that they would be at Prussia's house so he headed that way.

There was an unexpected knocking on the door. France and Spain got it seeing how Prussia was still sitting in the corner bawling.

"Prussia! Get your lazy butt over here!" Spain called from the foyer.

Prussia managed to stop bawling and drag himself to the foyer, "What do you want-" He was cut off by an amazing sight. Austria had voluntarily returned their birds...wait sorry, birds and turtle.

France and Spain hurriedly grabbed their pets and dashed out of the house.

"Hey, Prussia, could I talk to you?" Prussia nodded and wiped the manly tears from his eyes. He lead the way into the living room where Austria sat down uninvited.

"Sorry I made you cry, I just wanted to get back at you for invading my country."

"I wasn't crying! I was seeping awesome juice."

Austria just rolled hit eyes at how proud Prussia was. He would make a silly little lie just to feel as if he preserved his dignity. "Do you remember who gave you gilbird?"

Prussia stared at the floor, a blush slowly creeping up his face, "No." He finally said.

Austria sighed, "I should be going." He stood up to leave.

He was stopped by a small voice. "Thanks for giving me gilbird, and then returning him..."

Austria gave a soft smile and left.

**I was shocked to figure out that Gilbird was given to Prussia by Austria. I just had to incorporate that.**

**First of all, I will apologize so you won't have to kill me, I'm sorry I didn't update in forever, also, sorry this focuses more on the humans more than the birds, next chapter will be the birds point of view on this. Sorry the conflicting emotions (if you had any). I felt like this should be heart warming fluff but also like it was a humorous story... as a result, it was both. I promise next chapter will be more humorous...unless you find me unfunny, and un fluffy, hten you should leave.**


	4. Children?

Once again there was a mysterious substance in the animals' cages. This time it wasn't alcohol. The BTT was at England's house trying to convince England To go an a date with Fraance. Amongst all the commotion and the throwing of objects, a magic potion landed in the birds water.

Of coarse the thirsty animals drank it. Nothing happened...

Until that night. In each of the houses, the nations had fallen asleep and their pets under went a change. A really big one.

Prussia awoke to see a boy curled up at the foot of his bed asleep. He seemed to be four years old... maybe a little less. He had blond hair and was wearing a yellow hoodie and jeans. He woke up, looked at prussia and smiled. The smiled didn't stay long. "Why is my awesome master not happy to see me? Why is he staring at me?" the little kid thought. Not liking being stared at, he tried to angrily chirp at the albino but all that came out was mispronounced words. Wait, words? He hadn't been able to do that before. The little boy began to scream and cry. This was too weird for him.

"Don't cry!" Prussia jumped out of bed and tried to comfort the little kid. He picked him up and rubbed his back. "Sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry."

Slowly, the tears subsided. "What's your name little one?"

This confused the boy. His master didn't know his name? "Gilbird. You should know that..." Just then Gilbird looked in a mirror and instead of seeing his usual cute little puff ball body, he saw a little boy.

Spain woke up to see another little boy staring at him with large green eyes. Spain immediately hugged the boy. It reminded him of the days he still owned Lovi. He looked again at the boy before him. He had green eyes and brown hair. He looked like Spain except shier. He wore a green turtle neck and brown shorts.

"Hola little boy. What's your name?" Spain continued hugging the adorable child.

"Tortuga." The boy said with a little blush across his face. His master never hugged him before... "I'm your turtle."

For once, Spain didn't have anything to say.

France was woken up by something heavy land on him. He opened his blue eys and saw a little boy sitting on him.

"Guess what master! I'm a boy!" The child said. He had silver locks and brilliant blue eyes. He was wearing a pressed white shirt and black dress pants.

"Yes you are a boy. Who are you? And what are you doing in my house? Since when am I your master?" This was too much for France to take in. He was still tired from l'amour with england, who by the way must of left in the middle of the night seeing how France's bed only contained the boy and himself.

"Silly. I'm Pierre and I'm human now." Pierre reached his arms around France and gave him a hug.

England walked through the door of his house. He could not believe he had let France have his way with him.

He expected to return to a nice quiet house bu when he got the a little boy was staring up at him with tears in his eyes.

"I thought you were never going to return." The boy had green hair and was holding a stuffed bunny. He looked about three and the only thing he was wearing was an over sized mint green T-shirt.

England could only stair and the boy looked up at him with tear filled green eyes.

"Wh-who are you?" England stuttered.

"I'm Flying int Bunny. You can call me what ever you want though..." The boy looked down at his feet waiting for a response.

"Oh. Why did you choose my house to visit? Why don't you go back to magic land where you live?" England wasn't too surprised that Fmb was a human child because the rascal sometimes liked to mess with his potions.

"I can't. Since I'm human I have no magic. I cam here because you're my only friend." Ht started bawling seeing how England didn't want him.

England picked up the boy ans hushed him. "Shh. I'm sorry, I want you here, I was just confused."

**Sorry it took so long. I had n inspiration. I decided to make them children cuz I saw this cute picture of them as humans. I couldn't resist.**

** I had to add FMB because I love him. I think he is by far the cutest. Then it' Gilbird. Tortuga and Pierre are tied... If I had to take care of one I would definitely choose FMB. How dare England make him cry! I would be glad he was there.**

** Review?**


	5. Play Nicely

**Okay, I told my self I would stop doing anything till I wrote this, then that failed, so I bribed my self, after this I get cake!**

**BTW, I love all those who actually followed this story, it's been like a year, and I thought I would never get anywhere. But, I thank you for believing in me! Honestly I thought this story as crap, but I guess not.**

Arthur knocked on the Frenchman's door, a green haired child standing behind him contently eating a scone. "Engwand, why are we hewe? Did you fowget somefing from last night?"

The Brit blushed, one for having the seemingly innocent child bring up something vulgar, and two he sounded so much like colonial America, it hurt.

"N-no. Francis called saying the same thing happened to Pierre, Tortuga, and Gilbird." He turned and gave a small smile to the boy.

Only a second after saying that, the door flew open to reveal a golden locked child who flung himself and Flying Mint Bunny. "Minty!"

The green child blushed, looking, and acting, a lot like the blond standing not two feet away from them.

"You are sooo cute! Well, you're always cute! But zhat's not zhe point! Let's play!" He dragged the child in by his arm.

Once they were out of sight, France appeared chuckling a sad chuckle, "This reminds you of old times, non?"

England only nodded, it was true, old wounds he thought had healed were ripped open, "I hope it ends differently." They headed inside to converse with the albino and Spaniard.

~BTT~

"Ha! Now we're on the same level, you can't tease me any more, Lame Face." Tortuga and Gilbird were fighting when Pierre dragged FMB into the room.

"No one teased you! We treated you nicelier than any one else because you were specialest. You're too busy feeling bad for yourself to notice!" Gilbird, who was now red in the face, was harshly pushed over by the turtle-boy-thingy.

The blond just sat for a moment, registering what happened before getting up.

"Liar!" Tortuga turned away, pouting. That's when the pair decided to notice Pierre standing with an uncomfortable looking Flying Mint Bunny in his grasp.

Taking the opportunity to harass some one weaker than him, Tortuga stepped forward. "Look what the bird dragged in. A measly rabbit."

Pierre went to stand with his friends, not sure what was going on. The boy in front of the trio just glared.

"Can't speak? I guess you're too young to even be toilet trained." He laughed at his joke, the others joining in.

FMB blushed, it was true he did have an accident before, but that was because he wasn't used to his human body, but he certanly wasn't a baby like they implied. "I can speak, I just chose not to speak to wude bwats wike you!" He crossed his arms hoping it would distract them from his blush.

"Look. He can't even talk rightly!" Gilbird exclaimed pointing with a bewildered look on his face.

Pierre giggle at that one, admitting his poor speech was cute, and babyish.

Minty looked at the silver locked child with an astonished, somewhat hurt, expression. He thought that the bird was his friend, but now he took his friends side instead of his.

Tears budded at the corner of his green eyes. "Meanies!" He ran iff before any one could notice he was crying, which was hard because when little kids cry, you know. HTeir faces go red and the air turns heavy with despair.

Gilbird and Tortuga shrugged, if he was going to cry so easily, maybe he wasn't worth playing with. Pierre once again sided with peer pressure and went to play Legos with the others.

**Cliff hanger! Dun Dun Dun! Not really, I know, I got writers block, so I'll explain my character thoughts.**

**Tortuga, he feels they are on even playing grounds now so he takes that chance to be a jerk. (I just don't like Spain)**

**Gilbird, Is insecure so he plays it off as slight jerkiness, but he knows he doesn't speek correct, so he doesn't like speaking and makes fun of others**

**Pierre, is really clueless and does what the others do, but he really is a noce guy. HE loves FLying Mint Bunny with a passion.**

**FMB(Minty), Secretly loves and looks up to Pierre and is bullied. Though he is quick to tears, he hinds it, Tsundere much? He loves England and hates almost every one else.**

**That's it! Review.**


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